Comments to the D-11 Board by Susie Binkley, December 9th, 2009
Many gifted kids are extremely sensitive people. The world of peer pressure and always-changing social situations, coupled with feeling different can leave these bright, sweet kids emotionally exhausted. It’s hard to focus on doing well in school when you’re busy trying just to fit in. These kids need a place to be themselves. As they grow up, they’ll find their way—they’ll choose careers and set up their lives in ways that are user-friendly to their natural needs—but why make them wait to find somewhere to fit in? Why not offer them that opportunity now? Some people just don’t fit in the box. Why force it? Even college offers more freedom and flexibility than a long day in a standard school program.
I am the mom of one of these unique kids. I have a child, now 12 years old, who started reading at 21 months. In kindergarten and preschool, for fun, she did 2nd grade math problems when she was bored. She had an enormous vocabulary at age three.
My daughter is Twice-exceptional—she is gifted and yet has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder which makes the daily routine of a regular classroom extremely difficult for her to navigate.
She spent three years in public school Early Childhood programs. She had a few wonderful teachers, with no training in her difficulties, and no training in gifted education. They wanted to help, but couldn’t challenge her at all or meaningfully address her issues.
When she entered kindergarten I had high hopes that she would finally fit in. I was wrong. It was a terrible year with no help, no challenges, just my child feeling like a fish out of water. She wanted to talk about world affairs, current events, and science, but the other kids just wanted to be kindergarteners. She had no one to talk to on her level, no peers that said “I get you.” And the teachers had no idea what to do with her, so they just slid her through. Her intellectual strengths countered the OCD enough, and on paper she looked flat. But by third grade my spunky, charismatic child was a depressed, anxious little person with no hope.
Despite nearly straight A’s and a zest for learning she was never admitted to TAG—she didn’t have the right test scores. And by then end of 6th grade last year she was done. Done with trying to fit in with kids that just don’t get her. Done with teachers who just didn’t have the time to really accommodate her. She felt she was drowning in her efforts to “fit in.” This year she is not in a Pikes Peak area school district. She is enrolled in the Colorado Virtual Academy through Adams-12.
The truth I have finally come to accept is that teachers do not have the time, resources, or even the energy left after all that is already expected of them to address the needs of complex kids like mine.
SO what would an option like AACL have meant for her? It would have meant greater self-esteem, chances to soar academically, more emotional stability, having people and friends to challenge her and inspire her, not keep reinforcing the “you have to change, you don’t fit in” message. This is not a slam on the school districts of the area as they are—just an acknowledgment of a current reality. Until that reality changes someday, somehow, in some future time when we value education enough to fund and staff it like we should, AACL is offering our area a way to address the needs of complex learners like my daughter.
She will be in eighth grade next year, but I will gladly put her in AACL for one year—because that one year could be the anchor, both emotionally and educationally that lets her come to truly feel that there are people in this world who get her, who appreciate her—one year to make her believe that she can find her niche in this world.
And for the record, I have a 4th grade son who’s a lot like his sister, and he’s hoping for the chance to attend AACL as well.